The joy of being an older brother

A tearful sendoff

Two months ago, on a cloudy afternoon on the outskirts of Colombo, I traded wistful, downcast looks with my host mother and Sasethma, my 10-year-old host sister. We had just finished dropping off Sadithma, my 17-year-old host sister, at her new boarding school, where she was about to start a rigorous 10-month study program for next year’s A-level exams. It was a tender, tearful moment for all of us, and a reflection of how much I had become part of this Sri Lankan family.

My host father was away on a quick errand picking up dormitory items at the big-box store just down the road, so he couldn’t be with us at that moment, but his fierce love for and pride in his eldest daughter was felt. He had worked hard on his farm for many years to prepare for this day, and had agreed to take in an American Volunteer because he wanted to help his two daughters get the best education they could. Now his efforts were bearing fruit.

Connecting with my host sisters

When my host sisters and I first met, we were all a little shy. The day I arrived, I made funny faces at the dinner table because I couldn’t yet make conversation. They loved it. Sadithma could already speak English well but had never met a native speaker before.

In the 10 months since then, my sisters have shared their whole world with me and taught me the Sinhala words for all the fruits and vegetables on our farm, as well how to light oil lamps and incense properly when we go to temple. My two host sisters have been rays of warmth and sunshine in my life, and Sadithma has become my best friend.

Sharing American culture and the English language

In turn, I’ve been delighted to share some of my world with them. While on trips I bought books for both of them as well as plush toys for Sasethma. I was beyond touched that the one book Sadithma chose to bring to school with her was Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” that I bought for her after she breezed through some of the easier books I’d given her. The book was one of my mom’s favorites.

Still an older brother

Since she’s been gone, I’ve come to miss the sound of Sadithma’s voice calling “Ayiyaa (big brother), come eat!” One comforting thought is that I’ll still be here when she finishes her school year and will be able to keep my promise to teach her how to play guitar (if, of course, I can first teach myself how to play). I hope we’ll be able swim in the local lake or go on an elephant safari.

With Sadithma off at school, it’s a bit more challenging for Sasethma and me, in that we both have to work a bit harder on our language skills. I’ve been slowly improving my Sinhala and helping Sasethma with her English homework, and she’s started summoning me to meals in English, just like her big sister used to do.

It has been an absolute joy watching my host sisters grow up, and I look forward to the time I still have with them.